Sunshine & Short Films

Do you ever get in one of those moods that turns every song on your iPod into your jam; that makes you feel like running and singing and climbing a mountain? Do you get hit by a sudden positive vibe out of nowhere and find that you just can't sit still, that you have to release all the good stuff inside of you? That's the kinda mood I find myself in right now which probably isn't a good thing since I have things to do tomorrow and it is currently very late at night (or very early in the morning depending on your perspective). But instead of sitting in bed and dwelling on all the things currently filling me with anxiety like I usually do at this time of night I've decided to sit in the dark of my living room and write about this sudden ray of sunshine. It's funny, about an hour ago I wasn't doing so hot; I was dwelling on the aforementioned anxiety and honestly having quite a crappy time of it...But then I put on a Disney short films collection I found on Netflix and at first some of them had me crying and others had me creeped out but then there was one that had me smiling and soon I was laughing and...I dunno, something about the whole thing made me feel better. Before each of the shorts they had some of the people who worked on them talk about the production and there's something that really cheers me up about seeing people talk about something that started as a scribble or a vague idea and then watching the finished product. Okay, I really I sound really silly and probably pretty irresponsible, but the thing is that a good mood like this rarely lasts long so I've learned to cherish them while they last. Now I have a confession, guys. It's kinda something I'm a little embarrassed to mention to my family or friends but since a slim few of the people in my life even know about this blog I suspect this little secret will be safe here. I'm sure this sounds incredibly silly but I really really wish I could work on animated movies; I possess no talent that would be useful in any stage of production but it's a little dream I like to think about sometimes. Something about these movies is just really special me; as I've grown older I've found myself drinking in every detail, a certain swell of music, the way the backgrounds are look, an Easter egg I didn't catch when I was little. I just feel like the kinda stuff Disney puts out can bring something really good into the world and I think it'd be something else to take part in sending it out there. Well, that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

Holidays, Homesickness, & Hair Color

It's October now. I find myself asking, "Where has the year gone?", I then answer myself, "Up in smoke with all my dreams". Okay, joking aside I'm less jazzed than most people for this month. I'm not really a big Halloween person; I'm a fall person, I like to eat sweet potato bread and have a cinnamon broom in the house, but I don't really dig candy or scary movies as much as everybody else seems to. Normally at this time of year I'd start listening to Christmas music (yes, I'm that person) but this year my brother and I have a pact that we don't start getting festive too early for fear of it jinxing our holiday season. Last year was...less than spectacular. I know it's really stupid and of course it won't make a difference but maybe not listening to the songs and watching the movies early will make everything feel more special this year. As far as other happenings go I'm currently staying at my Titi's house as she's having some problems with her heart and the doctor insisted she rest. So I'm looking after her demon pug that has to be walked about two hundred times a day and general doing my best to lend a helping hand. Pitiful confession time, even though I'm only two minutes away from my house and I'm really homesick. I miss my bed, my dog, watching HGTV with my mom at night, that kinda stuff. I have a TV with cable in the room I'm staying in and I've chosen to watch House Hunters of all things; if that doesn't tell you how attached I am to my routine I don't know what will. It's not like I'm not enjoying my quality family time or anything, I love hanging out with my Titi, it's just that when it comes time to go to sleep my diddly darned anxiety goes into overdrive and suddenly every noise is enough to make me jump out of my skin and I just have this general dark cloud of unease hovering over me. I really need to get this nonsense in check already. On a completely unrelated note I'm thinking about dyeing my hair either dark blue or a mossy shade of green, I probably won't but I'm thinking about it. I doubt I'll ever actually dye my hair again (I used to have orange streaks that then faded to blonde until about a year or so ago), partly because I'm lazy and don't want to deal with upkeep, and then there's the fact that with my luck I'd likely fry my hair. Well, there are two more reasons, the first is that I've heard from people with crazy colored hair that strangers tend to approach you a lot and will sometimes want to touch your head (I encountered such people when I used to have my hair down to my waist and do not feel like dealing with such creepers again), and the second is that I wanna be able to do some casual cosplays that would be better with my natural blackish brown color. I am a master of excuses. Well, that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

Best Supporting Actress

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that my role in this world is a supporting one. I'm not the protagonist of any story except the ones told on this blog. I'm somebody's sister, or best friend, or daughter but never the somebody that's the topic of conversation. Today the seasons finally changed and I'm trying to take a cue from nature and let the cool air paint me another color and let everything I've been lugging around blow away. Today for the first time in probably months my dad asked me how my day had and been and the first thing that popped into my head was to tell him it was uneventful but instead I just shrugged because I'm sure he'd say something about how he wished his day had been uneventful; that work had been frustrating and it was too hot outside and on top of all that he wasn't feeling very well. I suppose I should be thankful for the cards I've been dealt; while my days are uneventful and most of the time I'm bored and lonely most people are working at jobs they hate and wish they could be at home with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. There are worse things than boredom and loneliness. Somebody's gotta look after things at home. A couple of entries ago I mentioned a show I'd watched that talked about how everybody wants a rose-colored life and how mine's been pretty gray...But now that I think about it perhaps it's appropriate that I've come to all these conclusions on the first day of  Autumn; since I'm the one who keeps the home fires burning perhaps my life isn't meant to be rose-colored or grey but red and orange like the fall. Does that make any sense? It does to me at least. That's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

Things I Did This Summer (And A Funky Looking Pikachu)

Here is a list of things I did this summer.

1. Fell further into the Pokemon pit.

2. Found out there's an L in Ghibli and that I've been spelling/pronouncing it wrong this whole time.

3. Watched way too many Splatoon walkthroughs

4. Started reading Yotsuba&! (the cutest little manga ever).

5. Watched subbed anime for the first time/got pretty okay at reading subs.

6. Spent way too much time on the internet.

7. Didn't write.

8. Drew this funky looking Pikachu. 

9. Finished watching InuYasha and cried a lot (have I already mentioned this?).

10. Read like 20 some odd books in July (a lot of which were manga).

11. Just realized I know how to say "I'm curious" in Japanese thanks to the subbed anime.

12. Watched a few crappy old movies on Netflix.

13. Just realized how much of this stuff has ties to Japan.

14. Realized just how little I did this summer.

Well, that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much love, Gabby

In Which A Storm Is Coming

There's a hurricane coming. That's not a metaphor or anything, there is an actual hurricane that's going to hit Florida on Sunday. I, of course, spent the whole night having a panic attack about it. It is now the mid morning, I watched the sunrise slowly light up my room as I waited for dreams that didn't come. I have now given up on sleeping today. I decided to have breakfast, play a little New Leaf, and read a good chunk of the last book in what I call the My Name Is Chloe series even though the real name is Diary Of A Teenage Girl. It's tough stuff, my friends, I've been reading these books since I was but a wee freshman and now my journey with Chloe is coming to a close. These books are some of the only Christian fiction I've read and by far my favorite in the genre so I feel like I'm really loosing something here. I feel like a lot of Christian authors kinda wear badges saying "2 HOLY 4 U", they don't feel down to earth and their characters just aren't relatable. I dunno, guys. I mean, it's hard to work faith into writing, I get that, I really and truly do. Anyways, once again reading the adventures of my home girl has me thinking more about my spiritual life and how it's basically in the toilet, how I have had zero fellowship in the past year, and how badly I seriously need to find a church I'm comfortable at. Even if I was being the perfect poster child for Christianity and reading the bible and praying a million times a day I'd still need a spiritual support system. Never underestimate the importance of getting to church, gang. It's like with this hurricane that's coming; sometimes life throws a whole storm of nonsense our way and it all breaks our little spiritual forts, and that's where a church family can come in, just like a state farm agent a good church will have you covered while you clean up the mess that worldly forces have made of your spiritual life. (Heh, state farm, that's funny because we're supposed to love our neighbors (forgive me, I haven't slept)). But anyways, fingers crossed this hurricane doesn't sweep my little coastal town off the map like Frances and some other ones I can't remember the names of tried their best to. That's gonna be it for now, guys. Until next time. Much love, Gabby   

Colors

Summer seems to have whipped by; but then so has the rest of this year. August has always seemed sad to me; people lighting the last of their fireworks and kids clinging to their final bits of freedom... It's not that I like summer so much but rather that I hate endings. I always feel like other people seem to get a lot done between June and September, trips are taken and hobbies are honed and they all seem to have an awfully good time of it. I, on the other hand, accomplished precious little if anything at all. I'll probably look back on this summer as the one I wasted becoming a proper Otaku, I started some new manga and watched a couple of new shows and that's really it. I did enjoy doing those things but the fact that none of them actually really mattered kinda cast a shadow over the whole thing. Oh, to be one of those people who isn't mindful of the fact that they contribute nothing to the universe. I've been watching this show and the characters talk about how most people want a rose colored life but the protagonist leads a grey one, and they say that a grey life is better than one that's completely devoid of color but I honestly fail to see the difference. I've never really considered grey to be a proper color anyway; yes it's technically one but when you tell someone to name a color they'll say something like red or lavender, those are proper colors, grey is just a sad mix of white and black. Grey is a void or a storm cloud or something equally dismal, nobody wants a grey life. That's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby  

No Choice & No Chansey

I never in my whole life wanted to be a nurse, not even when I was itty bitty, and yet I'm always the one taking care of people whenever illness hits my household. I never had the desire to be awoken at 5 AM to the sound of my sister puking all over our room but that's something that happened. The universe doesn't care what anybody wants or did or didn't ask for, it just conspires against people who are generally decent enough human beings to not deserve to be woken up in the middle of the night by someone vomiting on the carpet. I'm seriously regretting staying up to watch InuYasha with my brother last night. Now I know things like this don't get tossed somebody's way for any true reason, there's no life lesson I'm gonna learn from cleaning puke and arguing with my older sister about whether or not she has a fever, but I can't help think that last night when I was going on about how Nurse Joy was one of my favorite Pokemon characters that some cosmic gremlin was like, "You wanna be like her? Well here ya go!". In reality, gang, the moral of this story is not to ever eat frozen meatballs because they will get some person or another violently ill. I got sick on those buggers once and it wasn't pretty (not quite "the universe hates me/cosmic forces are working against me" bad but still yucky). Come to think of it I don't believe any of the Joys had a choice in any of this nonsense either; You don't choose the nurse life, the nurse life chooses you. All the Joys had a Chansey though and I'm flying solo. I should probably attempt to get some rest and figure out how to get that nastiness out of the carpet (and her laptop, and also the closet doors...). Say a little prayer for me, dear readers, I'm gonna need it. That's gonna be it for now, guys. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby