The Escape Artist

Hi, my name is Gabby and I am an escapist. I will turn to almost anything for a moments relief from the pressures of simply existing. If I go in for a reread you can usually tell why if you chose to examine it. Currently I'm still making my way through Paddington (I haven't had much time for reading lately) and I find myself wanting to reread more of my old childhood favorites. I feel like this is because this is the year that society has deemed the end of my childhood all together. I'm expected to get a job, go to college, know what I want to do with my life...It's many a weight on my shoulders. As long as I've been reading it's been a means of anxiety relief. Reading about people who went on great adventures and overcame impossible circumstances soothed my turbulent soul. Even just books with more realistic setting that were just slightly more idealistic than the cards I'd been dealt. I will say this though, books have always left me with a great sense of longing, for friendship when I had no one to turn to, for adventure when things were dull, and simply for opportunities for happiness when every proverbial door I knocked on seemed to be locked. The last is really what I find myself craving lately, all I really want out of life right now is a few open doors; some happiness and a little stability for a change. Seriously, if my life were a building it'd be made of Jenga pieces. Lately reading hasn't provided the same comfort it used to and that makes me really sad, I feel like I've lost an alley in the war on feelings. My love of reading has become a part of identity over the years, ask anyone I know about me and they're likely to say two things, "She's quiet and she loves to read"; if my books comforting arms loosen their  hold on my heart perminately I feel like I'll have lost a little piece of myself. The voice of reason tells me that maybe if I took better care of myself I wouldn't feel so crappy about everything all the time, "Go to bed earlier, take your vitamins, go out in the sun for a change" that kinda thing. At the same time I hear certain stories calling to me like sirens to a sailor claiming that they're the solution to all my worldly woes. I feel like they're both right, what I really need is to find balance. How I go about doing that I have no idea. That's it for now, sorry this entry was so angsty. Until next time, gang. Much Love, Gabby