Sunshine & Short Films

Do you ever get in one of those moods that turns every song on your iPod into your jam; that makes you feel like running and singing and climbing a mountain? Do you get hit by a sudden positive vibe out of nowhere and find that you just can't sit still, that you have to release all the good stuff inside of you? That's the kinda mood I find myself in right now which probably isn't a good thing since I have things to do tomorrow and it is currently very late at night (or very early in the morning depending on your perspective). But instead of sitting in bed and dwelling on all the things currently filling me with anxiety like I usually do at this time of night I've decided to sit in the dark of my living room and write about this sudden ray of sunshine. It's funny, about an hour ago I wasn't doing so hot; I was dwelling on the aforementioned anxiety and honestly having quite a crappy time of it...But then I put on a Disney short films collection I found on Netflix and at first some of them had me crying and others had me creeped out but then there was one that had me smiling and soon I was laughing and...I dunno, something about the whole thing made me feel better. Before each of the shorts they had some of the people who worked on them talk about the production and there's something that really cheers me up about seeing people talk about something that started as a scribble or a vague idea and then watching the finished product. Okay, I really I sound really silly and probably pretty irresponsible, but the thing is that a good mood like this rarely lasts long so I've learned to cherish them while they last. Now I have a confession, guys. It's kinda something I'm a little embarrassed to mention to my family or friends but since a slim few of the people in my life even know about this blog I suspect this little secret will be safe here. I'm sure this sounds incredibly silly but I really really wish I could work on animated movies; I possess no talent that would be useful in any stage of production but it's a little dream I like to think about sometimes. Something about these movies is just really special me; as I've grown older I've found myself drinking in every detail, a certain swell of music, the way the backgrounds are look, an Easter egg I didn't catch when I was little. I just feel like the kinda stuff Disney puts out can bring something really good into the world and I think it'd be something else to take part in sending it out there. Well, that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

Holidays, Homesickness, & Hair Color

It's October now. I find myself asking, "Where has the year gone?", I then answer myself, "Up in smoke with all my dreams". Okay, joking aside I'm less jazzed than most people for this month. I'm not really a big Halloween person; I'm a fall person, I like to eat sweet potato bread and have a cinnamon broom in the house, but I don't really dig candy or scary movies as much as everybody else seems to. Normally at this time of year I'd start listening to Christmas music (yes, I'm that person) but this year my brother and I have a pact that we don't start getting festive too early for fear of it jinxing our holiday season. Last year was...less than spectacular. I know it's really stupid and of course it won't make a difference but maybe not listening to the songs and watching the movies early will make everything feel more special this year. As far as other happenings go I'm currently staying at my Titi's house as she's having some problems with her heart and the doctor insisted she rest. So I'm looking after her demon pug that has to be walked about two hundred times a day and general doing my best to lend a helping hand. Pitiful confession time, even though I'm only two minutes away from my house and I'm really homesick. I miss my bed, my dog, watching HGTV with my mom at night, that kinda stuff. I have a TV with cable in the room I'm staying in and I've chosen to watch House Hunters of all things; if that doesn't tell you how attached I am to my routine I don't know what will. It's not like I'm not enjoying my quality family time or anything, I love hanging out with my Titi, it's just that when it comes time to go to sleep my diddly darned anxiety goes into overdrive and suddenly every noise is enough to make me jump out of my skin and I just have this general dark cloud of unease hovering over me. I really need to get this nonsense in check already. On a completely unrelated note I'm thinking about dyeing my hair either dark blue or a mossy shade of green, I probably won't but I'm thinking about it. I doubt I'll ever actually dye my hair again (I used to have orange streaks that then faded to blonde until about a year or so ago), partly because I'm lazy and don't want to deal with upkeep, and then there's the fact that with my luck I'd likely fry my hair. Well, there are two more reasons, the first is that I've heard from people with crazy colored hair that strangers tend to approach you a lot and will sometimes want to touch your head (I encountered such people when I used to have my hair down to my waist and do not feel like dealing with such creepers again), and the second is that I wanna be able to do some casual cosplays that would be better with my natural blackish brown color. I am a master of excuses. Well, that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

Best Supporting Actress

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that my role in this world is a supporting one. I'm not the protagonist of any story except the ones told on this blog. I'm somebody's sister, or best friend, or daughter but never the somebody that's the topic of conversation. Today the seasons finally changed and I'm trying to take a cue from nature and let the cool air paint me another color and let everything I've been lugging around blow away. Today for the first time in probably months my dad asked me how my day had and been and the first thing that popped into my head was to tell him it was uneventful but instead I just shrugged because I'm sure he'd say something about how he wished his day had been uneventful; that work had been frustrating and it was too hot outside and on top of all that he wasn't feeling very well. I suppose I should be thankful for the cards I've been dealt; while my days are uneventful and most of the time I'm bored and lonely most people are working at jobs they hate and wish they could be at home with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. There are worse things than boredom and loneliness. Somebody's gotta look after things at home. A couple of entries ago I mentioned a show I'd watched that talked about how everybody wants a rose-colored life and how mine's been pretty gray...But now that I think about it perhaps it's appropriate that I've come to all these conclusions on the first day of  Autumn; since I'm the one who keeps the home fires burning perhaps my life isn't meant to be rose-colored or grey but red and orange like the fall. Does that make any sense? It does to me at least. That's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

Things I Did This Summer (And A Funky Looking Pikachu)

Here is a list of things I did this summer.

1. Fell further into the Pokemon pit.

2. Found out there's an L in Ghibli and that I've been spelling/pronouncing it wrong this whole time.

3. Watched way too many Splatoon walkthroughs

4. Started reading Yotsuba&! (the cutest little manga ever).

5. Watched subbed anime for the first time/got pretty okay at reading subs.

6. Spent way too much time on the internet.

7. Didn't write.

8. Drew this funky looking Pikachu. 

9. Finished watching InuYasha and cried a lot (have I already mentioned this?).

10. Read like 20 some odd books in July (a lot of which were manga).

11. Just realized I know how to say "I'm curious" in Japanese thanks to the subbed anime.

12. Watched a few crappy old movies on Netflix.

13. Just realized how much of this stuff has ties to Japan.

14. Realized just how little I did this summer.

Well, that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much love, Gabby

In Which A Storm Is Coming

There's a hurricane coming. That's not a metaphor or anything, there is an actual hurricane that's going to hit Florida on Sunday. I, of course, spent the whole night having a panic attack about it. It is now the mid morning, I watched the sunrise slowly light up my room as I waited for dreams that didn't come. I have now given up on sleeping today. I decided to have breakfast, play a little New Leaf, and read a good chunk of the last book in what I call the My Name Is Chloe series even though the real name is Diary Of A Teenage Girl. It's tough stuff, my friends, I've been reading these books since I was but a wee freshman and now my journey with Chloe is coming to a close. These books are some of the only Christian fiction I've read and by far my favorite in the genre so I feel like I'm really loosing something here. I feel like a lot of Christian authors kinda wear badges saying "2 HOLY 4 U", they don't feel down to earth and their characters just aren't relatable. I dunno, guys. I mean, it's hard to work faith into writing, I get that, I really and truly do. Anyways, once again reading the adventures of my home girl has me thinking more about my spiritual life and how it's basically in the toilet, how I have had zero fellowship in the past year, and how badly I seriously need to find a church I'm comfortable at. Even if I was being the perfect poster child for Christianity and reading the bible and praying a million times a day I'd still need a spiritual support system. Never underestimate the importance of getting to church, gang. It's like with this hurricane that's coming; sometimes life throws a whole storm of nonsense our way and it all breaks our little spiritual forts, and that's where a church family can come in, just like a state farm agent a good church will have you covered while you clean up the mess that worldly forces have made of your spiritual life. (Heh, state farm, that's funny because we're supposed to love our neighbors (forgive me, I haven't slept)). But anyways, fingers crossed this hurricane doesn't sweep my little coastal town off the map like Frances and some other ones I can't remember the names of tried their best to. That's gonna be it for now, guys. Until next time. Much love, Gabby   

Colors

Summer seems to have whipped by; but then so has the rest of this year. August has always seemed sad to me; people lighting the last of their fireworks and kids clinging to their final bits of freedom... It's not that I like summer so much but rather that I hate endings. I always feel like other people seem to get a lot done between June and September, trips are taken and hobbies are honed and they all seem to have an awfully good time of it. I, on the other hand, accomplished precious little if anything at all. I'll probably look back on this summer as the one I wasted becoming a proper Otaku, I started some new manga and watched a couple of new shows and that's really it. I did enjoy doing those things but the fact that none of them actually really mattered kinda cast a shadow over the whole thing. Oh, to be one of those people who isn't mindful of the fact that they contribute nothing to the universe. I've been watching this show and the characters talk about how most people want a rose colored life but the protagonist leads a grey one, and they say that a grey life is better than one that's completely devoid of color but I honestly fail to see the difference. I've never really considered grey to be a proper color anyway; yes it's technically one but when you tell someone to name a color they'll say something like red or lavender, those are proper colors, grey is just a sad mix of white and black. Grey is a void or a storm cloud or something equally dismal, nobody wants a grey life. That's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby  

No Choice & No Chansey

I never in my whole life wanted to be a nurse, not even when I was itty bitty, and yet I'm always the one taking care of people whenever illness hits my household. I never had the desire to be awoken at 5 AM to the sound of my sister puking all over our room but that's something that happened. The universe doesn't care what anybody wants or did or didn't ask for, it just conspires against people who are generally decent enough human beings to not deserve to be woken up in the middle of the night by someone vomiting on the carpet. I'm seriously regretting staying up to watch InuYasha with my brother last night. Now I know things like this don't get tossed somebody's way for any true reason, there's no life lesson I'm gonna learn from cleaning puke and arguing with my older sister about whether or not she has a fever, but I can't help think that last night when I was going on about how Nurse Joy was one of my favorite Pokemon characters that some cosmic gremlin was like, "You wanna be like her? Well here ya go!". In reality, gang, the moral of this story is not to ever eat frozen meatballs because they will get some person or another violently ill. I got sick on those buggers once and it wasn't pretty (not quite "the universe hates me/cosmic forces are working against me" bad but still yucky). Come to think of it I don't believe any of the Joys had a choice in any of this nonsense either; You don't choose the nurse life, the nurse life chooses you. All the Joys had a Chansey though and I'm flying solo. I should probably attempt to get some rest and figure out how to get that nastiness out of the carpet (and her laptop, and also the closet doors...). Say a little prayer for me, dear readers, I'm gonna need it. That's gonna be it for now, guys. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby 

Heat Waves & Day Dreams

Summer is in full swing here in the sunshine state. If July were a person I imagine she'd be an awful show off (yes, July is a girl), she rides in on a tropical depression, she's a pyromaniac and insists on a fireworks show to celebrate her arrival; she's a real diva that one. But still everyone loves her because, annoying as she may, be she knows how to throw some great parties. 'Round these parts the heat drives us all inside and makes us wanna hibernate, it's a great time of year to catch up on Netflix. Next year, however I'd like to drive across America with my best friend the way kids my age do in movies and YA novels. I plan on finding a small town to settle down in when the trip is done where people can have weird jobs that don't necessarily advance society but make them happy. Does such a place really exist? Probably not. Would I move there if it did? Not likely, I'd get lonely without my family. Will such a trip even actually happen? Signs point to no but I'll leave it in the hands of fate. But hey, a girl can dream. To be real with you, gang, such dreams probably fill my head because I haven't left the state in eight years and while I love my home I'm getting kinda stir crazy and I'd really like to see some more of the world before I'm in the dirt. Honestly I'd really just be happy with leaving the house a little more but that, my friends, is a rant for another time. That's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby 

The Summer Cold Survival Guide

*Insert lame apology for another long absence partially due to illness*.  Okay, I think I've mentioned before how I suck at handling any kind of illness but summer colds are like top shelf kinda stuff. Imagine, gang, the house is 80 degrees, you feel like you've swallowed a razor blade and hot sauce cocktail, the world is basically coming to an end. What is one to do? Well, I have decided to compile a list of the things I've found key to surviving the horrors of such an ailment.
 
1. Netflix, Netflix, Netflix. You're gonna need some distraction from your suffering and Netflix'll give you everything from Pokemon to period dramas right at your finger tips.

2. Enough soup to fill a bathtub. I opted the kind that comes in a cup because when you're ill can openers are a no.


3. Animal Crossing. Soothing music, friendly neighbors, boring chores,  it's just the ticket for reminding you what life is like for the healthy.

4. A trip down the Youtube pit. I swear, that website is like a black hole sometimes. Recently I've been binging on E3 and Splatoon walk throughs.

5. Keep a pet (or at least a stuffy) around for cuddling. When your fever or is high and the end seems at hand you're gonna need something to hug.

6. A family member to be your personal butler. Just somebody to get you juice and tissues and all that jazz. Be careful you don't milk the situation though because then you won't have anybody to fetch and carry for you next time you find yourself feeling under the weather.

7. Don't underestimate the healing power of a slurpee. Those things are magic I tell ya.  

8. Keep your electronics charged. There's nothing worse than falling down the Youtube pit only to have your device die halfway into a video.

9. Stay the away from Facebook. You're suffering enough as it is, you do not need that nonsense in your life right now.

10. Sleep it off. Make sure you have lots of comfy pillows and get some rest.


Well, that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

Another Emotional Ramble About Video Games

Sometimes I get hung up on the most ridiculous things and people think I've gone a little crazy. Whether it's a single line from a book, a work of art, heck, even a certain Peanuts comic, odds are there's a creative type somewhere with a deep emotional attachment to it. Seriously, kids these days will cling to almost anything like we're at our first day of pre K and it's a security blanket. And the funny thing is it's not usually even a material object; for instance I was just watching some Wind Waker videos on Youtube with my brother and if my emotions were stars my place would look like a middle school hipster's Tumblr. I honestly feel like video games are seriously underestimated even in this day and age. In all likelihood 99.999999% percent of us won't get to sail around the world, and none of us will end up taking off in a spaceship powered by smiles with Goofy and Donald Duck (to all y'all who don't know about Kingdom Hearts that probably sounds like nonsense) and while books are a great way to live vicariously through fictional characters it's not actually your actions that are influencing whatever world the story happens to take place in. In a game you may just be solving puzzles and mashing buttons but in some small way you really become the hero and I think that's dandy. In a way video games can be more than just an escape from the dullness of the day to day, they make you feel powerful; you're saving worlds, your helping solve that universe's problems while forgetting your own. Now the games I've referenced both evoke very different emotions and this can be summarized pretty nicely by talking about their opening themes. Let's start with Wind Waker, if you've played this game you know that cheerful tune that plays in the main menu, it makes me want to do a jig and run off on an adventure shouting "HYAH HA!". And then there's KH... Oh Dearly Beloved, what words shall I use to describe you? Kingdom Hearts was one of the first non Mario type games I ever played and the melancholy menu music has all the workers in the thought factory slamming their first on the nostalgia button. Now don't take this as me putting books down or saying they're not as good as gaming, that's not it at all. Both of reading and gaming are different escape roots from metaphorical dungeon of anxiety and they're both amazing. Basically, guys, it's three in the morning, I've got a lot of emotions, and what I'm trying to say is video games are really something else and I'll always have a special place in my heart for them. I could go on and on but that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby     

The Whirlwind Weekend

This past weekend a trip to Disney was taken which I didn't talk about because I am a superstitious piece of crud and thought if I counted the imaginary chicken it wouldn't hatch like the last time. It was a real whirlwind of a time and wasn't without incidents but we all made it home alright. On the way up there we saw a hearse with a hitchhiking ghost sticker on the back window and I got the worst picture of it ever which isn't even worth posting. I have to admire the drivers sense of humor though. We stayed at a place just outside Disney property that had a bunch of peacocks running around for some unknown reason; they woke me up at 6:30 AM the first morning. We saw them everywhere we went, they were just chilling by the pool with some random cat, I named the first one I saw and then promptly forgot what it was I had named him, the second one I came across I called Archie. The hotel was nice and more like an apartment than a hotel, I suppose it was a time share or something, and it was pretty homey. We went the Magic Kingdom the first night and then had to leave thanks to a serious thunder storm but we at least got to walk down Mainstreet which always puts a little pep in my step. The next day myself, my mother, and sister sneaked off for breakfast at Waffle House and I had orange juice for the first time in probably a few years. I then realized why I had been avoiding it for so long. After that was the trip to the pool where the peacocks and the cat were sighted and I thought my sister was going to get her eyes pecked out taking a picture of those birds. That evening it was back to Magic Kingdom, this time to actually make it onto some rides and such. Riding before we left we were having ice cream on Mainstreet and I was singing along to the Hello Dolly instrumental and this girl a few tables over was also singing along. She forgot the lyrics for a minute and then I started singing and then she started singing again. We didn't acknowledge it or say anything to each other but it was a soul sibling moment.  The next day I was up incredibly early for my oldest friend's graduation which would've also been mine had I not opted out of walking. It was the first I'd ever been to since both of my siblings also opted out and if I remember anything about it it will be that one kid said he wanted to be a Ninja Turtleologist and the rap a very white kid did about his homeschooling experience. Homeschool graduations are two things, 1. Cringey and 2. Incredibly long. When the last girl walked across the platform she got one of the biggest cheers I'd ever heard in my life. Now I can honestly say that I don't feel bad for not walking anymore, after talking with my friend's future sister in law about how she might not walk at her college graduation I realize that it's something that's not for everyone and that's okay. Honestly I'd been dreading it a little because I felt like I was letting a lot of people down by not doing it, the night before I even had a good long cry about it, but now it just seems silly. After pictures were taken and lunch was had we took the graduate back to our hotel so we could all change and head to Disney. We ended up going to Epcot for about five seconds so I could get a Whisper Of The Heart print. I got to chat a bit with the girl working at the counter about the movie, which was cool. Every time I go to Epcot I find myself fangirling with some random stranger. I love the way fandoms bring people together, it's just the neatest thing. And then it was off to MGM (or Hollywood Studios if you're more with the times than me and my family) for the last night of Star Wars weekends, which meant dancing to some club remixes of things in front of where the hat used to be, taking a ride on Star Tours (one of my favorite rides), and watching the fireworks show set to the music from the movies. And then finally the next day we said goodbye to the peacocks and headed to Animal Kingdom before heading home. There it rained for a bit, and then if we hadn't already been soaked enough the whole group got on the rapids ride which we rode twice and got stuck on once. And then after a terrifying ride on Dinosaur it was time to leave. On the way out I found an initial necklace on the ground. It's a golden J and a crystal Mickey and we didn't find the owner. I hope J was able to get another necklace though. It's siting on my bookshelf right now because I'm not really sure what to do with it. Well, that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby     

A Pile Of Mildly Interesting Things

Things have happened, gang. Not very interesting things but I figured if I let them all pile up after a while they'd amount to something mildly interesting. Firstly I take back everything I said about Payless being a window into tennis shoe heaven; it is, in fact, more like a cat door, I can see what's there but I can't get to the other side. Of course I had to be in between sizes, naturally they didn't have a seven and a halves, and it made perfect sense that every pair I went to try on had one of those security things latched on to one shoe so they were impossible to lace up. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I'll have to wear ugly slip ons that look like something out of Zenon because of my gosh danged flat feet. In other news Mothers Day is a thing that happened and a very nice time was had. Myself, mother of mine, and the sibs packed into the car to go to a green market by the by some water in another town. Window shopping was done, the ladies of the family got matching necklaces (I suggested my brother get a carved wooden turtle to commemorate the occasion but no dice), and a walk was taken on a boardwalk sort of thing that lead nowhere where I carved Bad Wolf into the railing with my house key. All in all it was a pleasant sort of day and apparently we're going back that way again this weekend to check out a flea market. Also earlier this week I was organizing my brother's video game collection (which he didn't ask/want me to do but I did anyway) and I  found our Gameboy SP chargers. Once my pink one that was a gift from my grandparents was charged I indulged in a bit of retro gaming by playing my old favorite, Dogz. When I tell you I spent months worth of time over the years training pixelated puppies in this game it probably isn't an overstatement. I was impressed to see I actually still really enjoyed it. The setting in the some random Japanese town and chibi graphics mix in a really charming kawaii overload sort of way. Speaking of kawaii today I said to myself, "You know what, self? I'm running out of shows to watch, Pokemon is on Netflix, let's do this!". To which I then replied, "Why? Why are you such a five year old?". Let me tell you I wasn't instantly on the train. I ended up texting a friend about it. And I quote,
I have so much to do today that I started watching Pokemon.

It's one of the dumbest shows I've ever seen.

I'm on episode six.

I am now on episode 20 or so. I took a tumble down the rabbit hole, gang, and it looks like I'll be floating around in this black hole for a while. The reason I started Pokemon aside from sheer boredom? I finally finished the very last Artemis Fowl and now I have nothing to read again. During this I was in the waiting room of a doctors office surrounded by judgmental snow birds so I couldn't shed any tears; but in all honesty, peeps, it didn't traumatize me as much as I had expected it to. Perhaps that was because I'd had the ending spoiled a bit for me and knew how things would pan out? Maybe it had something to do with me being jaded by endings of various other series? Who can really say? I must say this though, I'm very depressed that there are no more new adventures to be had with Arty and company. Artemis was with me through some real dark times and I'm sure gonna miss reading about my favorite criminally inclined genius. Well, that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

The People You See In Payless

Whenever a trip to any kind of clothing store is taken and I find the  exact thing I have been searching for for a dogs age two things happen: 1. I don't have any money. 2. My mother isn't with me so I can't ask her for said thing if it's something I need. Today it was tennis shoes in Payless. Finding shoes is a great challenge for me, I have flat feet that hurt like I'm 80 years old so finding something nice and comfy that is also cute is the struggle. And then today I was there with my sister (who walked out with a very cute pair of flats that I am muchly jealous of) and it was like the clouds parted and I caught a glimpse of tennis shoe heaven. They were all squishy, cute, and on sale. I, of course, didn't have a penny on me, nor the proper time to find the right fit (because in addition to my feet being flat they are also wide, I'm basically a duck). But what truly made this detour to Payless noteworthy were the people that were there. Let's start at the beginning. My sister and I entered the store and she went straight for the tiny shoes because she's got the feet of Cinderella; said aisle was half women's shoes and half children's and there was a mother and son shopping for sneakers, nothing wrong with that, but then things took a turn for the odd and exasperating. Firstly the kid was whizzing around the store like Speedy Gonzales, which is perhaps would be forgivable if the store weren't so tiny and he didn't almost crash into everyone in it... Secondly there was the fact that these people were foreign, nothing wrong with that either, but the kind of nasty foreign people who cut lines at Disney world and make salespeople's lives a living hell. The mother kept speaking in this throaty language that I at first thought was German, and then something middle eastern, and then my sister guessed it was South American in origin. And I was having such a tiring day and was so mentally sapped that it took everything in me not to crack up because whatever language this was sounded completely ridiculous, like something out of Star Trek perhaps. And then when I moved on to look in my size in came a mother and teeny bopper daughter. I was just minding my own, lookin' at shoes, and this nasty English lady gave me the dirtiest look for no reason whatsoever. Perhaps she could read my mind because she said something to her daughter like, "Not those, you'll look like Minnie Mouse" and I thought to myself, "The heck is wrong with looking like Minnie???". Finally my sister decided to check out. The line was very slow going thanks to some kinda something wrong with the card machine and the first nasty foreign lady antagonized the life out of the poor girl behind the counter. Then the same problem occurred while my sister was checking out and I was sorta roaming around the store looking at things and this woman in line behind us was starring at me with her mouth open wide like I had just bitten the head off a live puppy. Trust me, gang, if it weren't for all those glorious tennis shoes I wouldn't be going back to Payless for a long long time. That's gonna be it for now, guys. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

Race Horses And Loading Screens

Is it really already May? This year is getting away from me faster than a hyperactive five year old on a sugar high. My days have been filled with unremarkable nothings, a bit of reading, a lot of Animal Crossing, many episodes of House Hunters, etc. "Unremarkable nothings" probably sounds like something a student would put in an essay when trying to hit word count but I am fond of simple things and have been known to take pleasure in the right sort of nothing. I feel like such of nothings are a rarity these days and a true and proper something is practically confined to fiction. To put it plainly, life is boring, gang. I suppose it's just that time of year where nothing is really happening and everyone is putting all their hopes and dreams toward a perfect summer when in reality they'll all just end up going about their regular routines. I find summer to be an overrated season and really don't understand people's tendency to romanticize it. It's like June and July are race horses that people wait all year to bet their happiness on. Oh, I've finally gathered the courage to read the last Artemis Fowl book. I've heard this one's a real heart breaker so I shall have to see about getting some tissues as well as finding a rebound book. Just once I'd like to read something that wasn't emotionally traumatic in any way. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed the writing, characters, and world of the Artemis books so it's going to be a serious bummer when it's all over. It's always a pity when you reach that last page and realize that in that world, with those characters, there are no more adventures to be had. Sometimes I feel like life's like that too. There's so much cool stuff to do in the world but I feel like most of us won't ever get the chance to do any of it. It's like getting all jazzed to play Age Of Empires or something only to get stuck at the loading screen forever. (Does that make any sense? Probably not). I know my example is seriously antiquated but those games were the coolest. I think we still have a couple of them somewhere...I should see if they work on this old laptop of mine. That's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

Notes From A Couchridden Convalescent

Once again we have a huge gap between entries, this time due to the fact that I have fallen ill. Well, I got sick on Sunday and I've been spending the whole week convalescing. I won't go into gruesome details. I, like any person with sense in their head, hate being sick. But whenever I get actually properly sick I get seriously sick. We're talking bedridden, the whole nine yards, gang. I forget what it's like to not be sick, surely there can't be anything beyond such an illness, it's the end for me, time to decide who my books go to when I'm gone. Only now am I seeing the light at the end of this terrible dark tunnel. You know how when you stick one of those fizzy bath bombs in water they sorta just dissolve into nothingness? That's sorta how I feel. Another reason I hate being sick is that I end up looking like something out of a horror movie, I'm already awfully pale so when the nights are filled with sneezing instead of sleeping the dark circles under my eyes get real, as does the rest of the struggle. Also I can't wait to have real food again; days have been filled with Gatorade, Cup Of Soups, and Italian Ice. According the the doctor I should be better by Monday. I shall count the minutes until I can arise from under a mountain of tissues and go out in the sunshine again. That's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby      

Choking On Hourglass Sand

Thus far we had managed to go without any April showers in my corner of the sunshine state, until today that is. As I've said before, when there's a thunder storm down here it's on a biblical level. I hate this weather, gang, even since I was little thunder storms have scared the living heck out of me. That may or may not have something to do with a couple of hurricanes messing shiz up during my developmental years. Summer has once again come early to my part of the universe, searing heat, storms that have me wanting to pack everybody up in an ark, all that lovely jazz. Generally I haven't been a fan of summer since I was little and the change of seasons meant family cookouts and plenty of pool time. Right now everything past summer is a black hole of uncertainty and terror. I wish everything would just slow the heck down, it's like Father Time's dragging me along on one of those backpack leashes and I'm screaming, and digging in my heels, and just generally throwing an, "I DON'T WANT TO GO!" sort of tantrum. I'm supposed to have at least a vague plan for the future, something that includes a job, a major, and eventually the white picket fence cliche. You know that bit in Aladdin where Jasmine gets trapped in the giant hourglass and the sand is threatening to suffocate her? That's sorta how I feel. But Aladdin isn't going to come along and break me out and save the day, this one's on me. Oh hey, I finally finished the first Pendragon book a couple of days ago, it was good, I'll probably read the next one, nothing extraordinary. Now I'm back where I was a little while ago when my only reading options were rereads or the end of different series. A trip to the library is in order. That's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby

Flipping Tables And Breaking Down Walls

So apparently my town has a green market; my mother took me today, it was filled with snowbirds and other people who make a habit of getting up before 2 PM on a Sunday. There were people selling honey, and veggies, and apple cider doughnuts that it was way too hot for but I ate anyway. Honestly the whole thing reminded me of Pushing Daisies, I pegged this one creepy guy who ran the flower stand and was wearing a bell pepper shirt as the criminal. I don't think I've mentioned this but the town I live in is really big with the richy rich northerners so this whole thing was at this new downtown area with all these snooty shops, this made for a pretty boring search for air conditioning. Also the only bathroom was in this really weird hotel and guess who had to pop in to use the loo? Yep, this girl. It was all very modern and I'm sure it would've looked cool in 2002. But hey, air conditioning. I swear we skipped from spring straight to the hellish inferno known as summer. Also when this place opened they said they were putting in a Hot Topic, it has been five months and still no dang Hot Topic! But yeah, despite my complaining I actually did have a nice time. Anyways, after a brief trip home it was out again, this time for Italian. I won't go into details about dinner but there was a weird waiter who was actually from Italy lurking around and certain family members decided to misbehave and I wanted to flip the table. Now I am once again home and still find myself with an only slightly less intense desire to throw furniture around. My father is watching Elementary though so that could have something to do with it. In other news I've actually managed to get over my reading rut and into the first Pendragon book, which is great, and also broken through a long standing writers block and rewritten the first chapter of a novel I've been working on for a few years now. A couple of entries ago I mentioned that I often feel a great sense of accomplishment when I get stupid things done but let me tell you this time it's validated. I haven't honestly gotten proper book writing done in probably over a year thanks to a malfunctional computer and a lot of other crap I won't even get into. I felt like how I imagine the Israelites did when the wall of Jericho came crumbling down. I just realized I still have leftovers from dinner and now that I'm home they won't be in my throat so that's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby      

Spaghetti Days

Sometimes life leaves me feeling like overcooked spaghetti, all wobbly and about to fall apart. On spaghetti days my brain spits out the idea that I'm sick since it's the only rational explanation for feeling like such utter crap and everything becomes extremely depressing. You know when you go to turn off your computer and the color drains out of the screen? That's sorta how it feels. It seems that this mushy pasta state is the result of fighting anxiety, sometimes my thought factory can't compute all the nastiness floating around so things shut down for a while until they can be properly reset. Lately there's been a lot of stress to deal with, I think of it like viruses that the little engineers in the thought factory don't know how to deal with, so the power goes out and they all sit around in the dark waiting for the IT guy (which would be something happy) to set things back to normal. This isn't a very easy thing to explain to people either, my brain is basically running on E so rather than being able to give a proper explanation for my mopy behavior I just end up mumbling that I'm tired. And that's actually the truth, I've found spaghetti days to be a state of physical and emotional exhaustion. More often than not I don't really have the energy to explain this, and my brain is so completely done with the world that the only thing to do seems to be sitting around and waiting for that metaphorical IT guy. It feels like I'm a magnet for bad vibes. Occasionally the thought engineers will get tired of waiting for the tech support and turn the system back on, because just maybe the viruses have magically gone away, and immediately about five thousand screaming popups invade every computer screen, they all slam their hands down on a big red button, and once again they find themselves waiting in the dark. I am seriously tired of feeling like I've been left in hot water for too long. That's gonna be it for now, gang. Sorry this one was so depressing. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby      

Rain, Rain, Go Away

With spring officially sprung the birds are singing, the sky is blue, and all of nature is at its best and brightest. Just kidding, this isn't a Cadbury advert. Down here in Florida springtime means rain. And not just little showers followed by rainbows and sunshine, oh no, this is rain on a biblical level. I don't know why I thought the change of seasons would give me a break from soul sucking darkness; winter in Florida is gloom, spring is gloom and doom. Today it was so bad that I took the dog and hid in my room until it'd stopped storming. Whenever there's a really bad thunder storm I tend to turn into Piglet in that one part in The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh when "the rain rain rain came down down down" and totally freak out. I'm always afraid the house is gonna be blown to pieces or something. Spring is just such a disappointment, man; Every year I expect sunshine and fun times and I get a mini apocalypse. In dark times such as these people tend to go off in search of a little extra cheer, and so this evening myself, the siblings, and madre braved the weather and set off in search of snackety snacks. After some Taco Bell and donuts we all feel a little better. Nothing soothes the soul like some junk food. There's really not much else to report at the moment besides this ridiculous weather. I'm currently trying to make my way through the first Pendragon book, but I haven't really been able to get into it so it's slow going. I've honestly just been in zombie mode lately, spending hours on Pinterest, watching anime, doing basically anything but reading or writing. My brain seems to be taking a vacation at the moment. I shall do like the hipsters do and go on a search for inspiration. I'll try and find something to clear the cobwebs out of my head. That's gonna be it for now, gang. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby   

Night Of The Creepy Crawler

Last night at 3 AM the air was thick with the scent of Old Spice and hairspray and an aura of panic hung over all those awake at the ungodly hour. My brother and I were just trying to watch some anime, we were blissfully unaware that while we watched Inuyasha battle demons a real life monster lurked in the shadows just waiting for a chance to pounce. When my brother told me he had a string or something on his foot I instantly tensed, when he started hopping around frantically I knew, there was a roach in the room. Being the brave warrior that I am I fled to the other side of the room, commanded my brother to throw the door open, and ran like Sonic The Hedgehog to the kitchen. "But, Gabby, it's just a bug!" you say. Nah, gang, if that's your reaction you don't know about the monsters down here in the south. These things are devil spawn, man. If they go for somebody you better get your butt in gear and hightail it outta there. My brother kept trying to get my assistance in the hunt, which I naturally refused to give, so we ended up having a whisper shout fight in the kitchen until I could bolt to my room. He later poked his head in to inform me that he had vanquished the enemy and also that he hated me. The worst bit is not that I will have to deal with the grudge I have no doubt my brother won't let go of for a few days or even years, no, it's the fact that I had to go retrieve my laptop I had left at the scene of the crime. I have no idea if that nasty little creature crawled on this thing, hopefully the cleaning I gave it will keep any deadly germs from sticking around. I learned  something from all this, dear readers, I learned that when push comes to shove I can run like, well not the Flash, but perhaps Kid Flash? That's gonna be it for now, guys. Until next time. Much Love, Gabby